he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
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So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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