We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
