it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
