Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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