Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
