Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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