yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
