I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
