If i come over, it means nothing
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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