He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
