so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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