Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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