I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
