Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
