I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Houston, we have a squirter
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
false alarm, still single
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