sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
