no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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