My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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