hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
