you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize