just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
