I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
