This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
