Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
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Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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