he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
