Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
