I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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