Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize