I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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