I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
