what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Still dying that you shit outside
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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