Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You made out with two different species that night
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
