What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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