all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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