dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
