My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
