yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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