You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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