Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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