you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
