real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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