i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
