god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
