is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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