party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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