We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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