In the future we'll all be gay
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
