there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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