Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
