Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
