the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You dont lie about slip and slides
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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