i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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