I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
