Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
