This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
