Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
