You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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