we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
