A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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